1 year and many more...

 Wow. It's been a year! The last couple weeks I've been noticing how he's not my little bundle of joy. He is a big boy now. He has teeth. He helps clean up. He jabbers on and on. Sings songs to the beat of his own heart. Dances. And, he looks more and more like a Toddler everyday, rather than my little baby.
It's a little crazy that he's so old. I feel like he just joined us last week. I must say, I don't feel I've given him 100%. I want to try and be a better mom. I thought the whole mother thing was instilled in me and I'd have every answer for everything. I was so wrong. I want to put as much effort into being a better mom as I did when I was trying to get pregnant and then during my pregnancy. I researched everything. I am still very clueless to many motherly duties. For instance, sippy cups. Though he caught on too using them today, why didn't I know I was supposed to introduce them at 4 months? I know I'm his mother and should do things when I feel he's ready, but I didn't even know it was a choice back then. I want to know my choices, options. That way I can make a more informed decision on how to raise him.

37 week appointment

I had an appointment today with the dr and the ultrasound tech. The ultrasound tech measured me to see how BG is growing and to see what it's looking like for delivery date and whatnot.

While waiting in the waiting room, I had some cold water and shortly thereafter BG got the hiccups. This is only the second time I have noticed that it was actual hiccups. And, I saw my belly twitch just like Momma Graf said it does.

We had our ultrasound first, obviously. Now, the one thing that bugs me severely about ultrasound tech's is that they are able to talk. I don't mean that in any disrespect, but the girl had me very nervous when we were escorted back out to the waiting room. She was telling me that his length looks good. He's crammed in there (which we already knew). His fluid levels look low. This may cause some concern and the dr may admit me to the hospital so we can start labor. The levels were at an 8. 10 is great. 4 is terrible. My worst fear... being induced. I am a firm believer in letting the kid come when he's ready! Now, she's telling me that I may be getting induced this week. Not what I was wanting.

She then told me that he is weighing about 7 lbs 7 oz. However, these are only estimates and they can be wrong up to 18 oz either way. So, I could have an 8.8 lb baby or a 6.5 lb baby? I'm no math whiz, but that is an awfully big gap! Then, she tells me, like she did before, that I am measuring a week ahead of schedule. That BG is large for where I am in pregnancy. Ok. Again. I am not an average size woman. WHO ARE YOU COMPARING ME TO?! For a German girl, I think I'm pretty average. I wonder what size babies usually come out of German size women?! Maybe in fact I'm measuring small!!! So, she moves my due date up which is the other thing that peeves me.

I am not a girl that got knocked up and had an oops! baby. We tried having a baby for a couple years! I took a test on a Friday, it was negative and then the very next Wednesday it was positive. With letting everyone in that office know everything about mine and Jason's "business" I think I can say when the conception date is and just cause he's measuring "bigger than the normal American woman's baby" - which who knows what a normal American woman's baby is anymore, I think it's safe to say that my due date is still May 13!!! If he comes a little early, fine! If he comes a little late, fine! But quit telling me that he's gonna come early just cause he's measuring big! oy.

Ok. Enough ranting.

I then wait to see the dr. We go over when I should leave work. We decided I will stay til I have the baby. I'm healthy, he's healthy. Not a big deal. AND, the hospital is only 3 minutes away. We went over heartburn. Rx called in. Cervix checked and we are 70% effaced / 2 cm dilated. They also sent me home with my records so I can take them to the hospital.

I'm a little _______ right now. You can fill in the blank with whatever you feel like cause I'm feeling so many different things right now. I'm so stoked to have BG here. Everyone keeps saying a few days and he'll be here. I really hope he waits about a week! I'm so nervous cause I don't know if I can be the tough cookie I think I can sometimes be. I know Jason knows I can do this, which is why I'm glad he's the one coaching me through... but I am terrified! I still don't have birth plans done. Nor do I have the "notices" done for letting nurses know they are not to give BG bottles or pacifiers. I haven't packed. The car is immaculately clean, but car seat is still not installed. And, even though I'm paranoid, nervous, frightened, scared and worry some, I am elated, excited, anxious and whelmed to have my little guy here in my arms. I dream of holding him, looking at him and him looking back with those cute little squinty newborn eyes knowing that we will be an eternal happy family. Those eyes that were just staring at Heavenly Father's. Those eyes that will one day squint at me and maybe tell me I'm irritating him. Or that he loves me. Or that he's happy. *sigh* This is what I am on this earth for. I can't wait!

Roller Derby

My Sister in Law, Katie, is a Sin City Roller Girl. Maybe you've heard her referred to as, The 4ce? Anyway, she had a bout yesterday, Saturday and Jason and I went to support her. Aside from it being one of the best bouts I've ever seen her in, there were lots of things BG enjoyed, or didn't enjoy, as well.

For the Fresh Meat vs. Old Beef bout, the crowd wasn't too hyped up and things were pretty calm. Then, the real bout started. I felt things that felt like contractions, but I just kind of blew them off. I was screaming and cheering quite a bit and I could tell my BG's activity that he was going crazy inside!


The end of the bout really had me going. My blood pressure was up cause I was so into the game and when we were in the last few seconds, I jumped up outta my seat and was jumping up and down, and then I think I had another contraction... so I quickly sat down and continued cheering from there. lol

I don't think BG will make it to the May 28 bout. At least, he won't be inside my belly.

This is Aunt Katie lending her Jammer Cap to BG for a moment.

When's it gonna be my turn?

In 4th grade, we had our "womanly talk" and watched video's and all that good stuff. We were told that some of our friends were already having their periods. After the class, some of the girls were bragging about getting theirs and I felt left out. I wanted mine! I waited 3 long years to finally get mine, nad nevertheless, it came.

Well, a few months ago there were girls in my group, due after me, that were telling everyone about how they were leaking colostrum from their boobs. I was jealous. I felt like I was in 4th grade again, waiting and waiting. Well, the wait is over! We have leakage!

I know that's sounds silly, and why on earth would I want to brag about it on my blog?! Well, after having a reduction in '01, I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed. My dr told wanted to know if I planned on breastfeeding, and I told him I did. But that was 10 years ago! How was I supposed to know if every thing went ok? I'm hoping this is a good sign that every thing is well in the boobie area.

Kicked it into "Get 'er done" gear!

Wednesday is my "get it done" day. With the paranoia I've gained these last few weeks, I made it a point to get 2 things done by week end; 1. Get car seat installed, 2. Get BG's room organized and cleaned.

Mom took me out to lunch for my birthday, then we went back to my house and cleaned. We deep cleaned BG's room. Washed baseboards. Vacuumed everything. Wiped down everything. Moved furniture, organized and sized everything.

We also cleaned out the car. Now it just needs to be taken to Freddy's to have the carpets cleaned and vacuumed. Why do all this when he's gonna make everything a mess anyway? Because he deserves it.

36 weeks 4 days

My dr is out of the office this week, so I had my check up with Jane, the PA. She is totally awesome. The only thing that freaked me out about today's check-up was when she said, "If you go into labor this week, Dr Martin will be delivering you, not Dr Swainston. YIKES! You said "labor this week"! I know that's what I signed up for, but I'm not packed for the hospital, I haven't finished my birthing classes and we don't even have the car seat installed yet! AAAGH!

Needless to say, after my birthday present hospital busy box I got for my birthday, and hearing this info, it's kind of pushed me into gear to get things done I NEED to get done before he gets here.

The rest of the appt, we did a Group B Strep test and a cervix check. Won't know the results of Strep test for a day or so. No biggie there. Cervix check said we are at a fingertip (1 cm). WHOA! Now I'm really freaking out. I'm dilating. ... *trying to process all this* ... Ok. For reals. No more dinking around. Need to pack, install car seat and get what I've been procrastinating DONE!

It also cracked me up that she said she could feel his head. Sounds a little weird. But hey, he's head down and happy. That's what matters, right?!

Next appt is next Monday. We are scheduled for an Ultrasound to see how big BG is.

Hair!

BG has hair! My birthday is tomorrow, April 17, and for my birthday I wanted to take the family to see BG in a 3-D/4-D ultrasound. Mom, Jenny, Bobby, Mike, Katie and the Mom's made it. Though I didn't get to see BG very clearly, the little bugger just hates ultrasounds I guess, the tech did say, "Oh, he has a lot of hair." She then showed us how she could tell. She also mentioned that because hair is so fine and some babies don't have a lot, it's hard to see on ultrasounds and most of the time you don't see it. So, being that we could see it on him, we can tell he's gonna have a full head when he comes out. Sorry Jason. Maybe he'll lose it all after a few weeks of being out. If not, wait a few years and we'll buzz his head. hee hee! Anyway, the overwhelming support and love I got from my families are what made me cry this time. I loved seeing little BG on the screen, mad dogging us, but knowing that he, Jason and I are so loved and have so much support made my cup runneth over. We also talked about how soon he would be here. He will be here in a month! After this week, we are gonna work on different things we can do to make labor easy, and come quicker than usual. Mike and Jenny both said they didn't care if he came on their birthdays, but I would still love to have that little stinker as close to his due date as possible (DD is May 13).